I did not end up getting en epirdural, but when I came to the hospital I was between 3 and 4 cm dialated and my water had already broken. Since it was a high leak, I hadn't realized my water was broken because it was trickling as if it were just the rest of my mucus plug. So, they did administer pitocin despite my protests.
After about 15 hours, I was still only 5 cm. All of a sudden, I guess the pitocin kicked in because I started having one contraction on top of the other and, even if I had WANTED an epidural, there wasn't any time in between contractions to administer it. By 4:30 I was 8 cm (which they about had to hold me down to find out....I wasn't too in to being touched at this point) at which point I thought I was having a bowel movement and tried to push into the toilet. I was told to come back in, and, by this point 20 minutes later, I was 10 cm dialated. She was born after about 7 pushes as 5:10 PM naturally with no interventions at the hospital.
She had a knot in her cord. Since they are too big to do that after about 20 weeks, she had been living like that for most of my pregnancy. Luckily she had a long cord so it never pulled tight. She is an absolute miracle because that usually kills a growing fetus, since it doesn't allow blood flow. I had felt reduced movement the day before and I'm guessing that was why, because she had dropped. I did get stretchmarks the last few days when she dropped. I was so mad because I had made it so far and then, WHAM! But I'm grateful to have had a beautiful, healthy little girl!
Tobey is now out of the picture. He has been nothing but a pain before and since she was born. He is irresponsible and hardly deserving of such a little angel! I hope one day I can convince him to sign over his rights and, when I meet someone great, that he can adopt her and show her what a man and a dad looks like.
She is hilarious! Coughs just for reaction, laughs at the most random things, doesn't mind horses one little bit, is growing like a weed....She mastered nursing right away and we have been going strong nursing! She gained 15 oz the first 5 days home! Amazing little girl...
Some people have made rude comments about my nursing, but most have understood there is nothing dirty, unnatural, or especially intimate about it. It is a child's natural means of eating and the way God intended her to eat. If God had meant her to eat from a bottle, he would have made them himself. As it stands, man made bottles, God made boobs. My argument is, who do you think knows better? That's what I thought! To those who say it has nothing to do with God, you are wrong. God is very much a part of my breastfeeding relationship. He is something I celebrate when I nurse! He was good to us, gave me more than enough supply! It is, however, getting harder to nurse in public since she is older and more interested in her surroundings and gets very distracted. So, at this point, I do try to find a quiet little nook.
She talks up a storm and laughs as if she is seeing the more hilarious thing ever. I love it! She is such a little person! I am so in love with her!
I have realized I do NOT want a 2nd major in accounting. It is not a career for me. I do not like studying it at all, so I am thinking I wouldn't like doing it for a living. I also don't want to miss Kiley growing up. I don't want to spend all day working then come home and rush off to class. I love law, and I want to save my money and resources for law school.
I am very disappointed with this last semester. I was only able to get a 2.9 GPA because they raised the grading scale so that 93+ is an A, 86-93 is a B, and so on...and I just couldn't pull a couple of them up to B's. I am very disappointed, but I suppose I can't be too hard on myself since Kiley still isn't sleeping through the night, doesn't nap, I was taking care of her unless I was in class 6 hours a week, and I only was able to do homework from 8-12 at night. This semester was mostly accounting, and I am just not interested enough in accounting to kill myself like that!
Next semester, I will have an internship and classes during the day. I will try to get all my schoolwork done then because she will be in daycare. Then, nights, mornings, and weekends will be just for Miss Kiley! I think my sanity will be appreciative!
Being a single mom is the hardest, most rewarding thing I have EVER done. I am SO glad not to have Tobey around. I truly believe life would be so much more stressful with him around because he is like a child; he is incredibly self- centered! So, yes, life is good. I have some regrets, but I try not to dwell on them. I think anyone who says that they have no regrets is a big fat liar!
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