The room is ready. I have to write thank you notes but those will take about an hour. Maybe. If that. I literally have nothing to do except go groom Kandi and go to meetings.
I have never been this bored in my life. I am still feeling antisocial. I almost can't wait for August and moving back to Frankfort! Well, not almost, I can't. I can't wait for July to get here, for the baby to come. There is literally nothing left to do. I'm good to go with 7 weeks to spare. I hope she chooses to hang on until then, anyways. I posted a blog on my other blog, my horse blog. I don't care about TV. I guess all that there is to do it get some reading done. Wow I'm boring....
If I were smart, I would take this time to relax and breathe. In fact, that's what I'm going to try to do. But I can honestly say that I do not have a clue how to do that. I have never done that in my life. It is HARD to do!!!!!!
I just don't know what to do with myself.
I guess I could write about my plans for me and my baby.
I know there is only so much planning that can be done, that life will happen and I will have to adjust my plans accordingly. That I should just stay in today (at least that's what people in the rooms of AA tell me). I believe that. I try to be flexible these days. Picking everything up and moving here shows flexibility, does it not?
But to be honest with you, if I did not go into things in life without some sort of a plan, I would go NUTS! It comforts me to have a basic plan, a basic outline for what is going to happen. It makes me feel secure. So I am going to go into this motherhood and moving to Frankfort thing with a plan in mind!
I plan to stay here until mid- August, at which point there's an apartment building on Capital Ave. I hope to move into.
I hope to work for my Equine Business degree from late August to early May and graduate with that degree in Mid May with a 3.7 cumulative GPA. I hope to get that internship at CHA and be able to do most of it from home.
I plan to move Kandi down to the barn in Shelbyville September 1st. I hope to be able to have time to ride her. I also want to ride on the team, but it's likely that I won't be able to take a riding class. I would like to ride with Bennie Sargeant a bit learning from him, and that may be the extent of my practice. That would be a conflict of interest except that him and coach are buddies. While I am riding, showing, and attending class, my hope is that Kiley's father is in a right state of mind to watch her.
I do not plan on working unless I can find a job which will prepare me for work in my chosen field. Otherwise, I will just make enough to pay for daycare and be away from my daughter more than what's necessary....what's the point when preparing for Kiley's and my future? I do hope the internship turns into a job opportunity or that I am able to find a decent job while interning. That would be ideal. I'm not going to hunt for jobs that are a waste of time, though. I may consider a few hours a week working with the tbred babies I raised last year or if I could possibly get a job riding for Bennie that was decent pay, that would be good too! Other than that, why be away from my kid if it's not to put something on my resume that is worth mentioning, or something that will turn into a full time job upon graduation.
I plan on finding a fulltime job with benefits asap next year before or upon graduation. That may not happen, but I will do my darndest. I plan on finishing up my accounting degree in Fall '11 so that in May '12 I can receive my accounting degree. I have been told that businesses are snatching up people with accounting degrees. Good to know! If I cannot find a well paying job in the equine industry, at least there's that.
I want to save until I can buy (or at least lease--probably a better option for the short term) a little farm and board some horses. I want a more competitive show horse, whether it be an AQHA all arounder or an NRHA horse. We'll see where the path leads me.
I'm hoping I can make enough money boarding that I can quit working while I go to law school. I also want to show more competitively...I have a lot of big dreams when it comes to horses. I am thinking now that I'd like to go to UK for Equine and Family Law. I just want to make enough so that eventually, I can afford nice horses and buy a little farm and not owe anyone a thing. I don't need a lot of extravagant things, I really don't. I just want to be happy. Law is something I think I would be good at, and I do think it would make me happy. I don't think being a CPA would make me happy.
I want to be a lawyer and show horses. Maybe one day I can cut back on law and train and show horses for people too. I'm not sure whether or not I really want to do it, but it could make me happy if I play it right and if I keep it simple....I would also like to run a horse transportation company one of these days, or open up a show arena. I want to help people enjoy their horses...
I guess that's more long term stuff. I also want to have a baby boy in 2-3 years. I have to be married and own a home, though. Those are my qualifications for having another baby. Find a house in foreclosure! There's plenty of those. I just don't want my babies to be too far apart and I want to be young and spry and not exhausted from practicing law when I have more kids. So NOT going to law school until I'm done having babies. That's another requirement.
FOR THE SHORT TERM. I plan on breastfeeding. For sure, without a doubt. No one will change my mind. I want to breastfeed until Kiley's at least 18 months, if not until 2, which the World Health Organization recommends. If I have another one when she's 2 I won't be able to breastfeed that long, but it's right for my baby to breastfeed as long as possible. I also plan on taking her off the bottle at one when she can drink cow's milk and giving her the sippy cup. Juice in the sippy before that. I'm not going to supplement with formula. Ever. Why the hell would I pay anyone money for something I can get for free?
I wonder if you can be on birth control while breastfeeding? Hmm...I hadn't thought much about it.
Those are my thoughts for now. I'll actually try to write again tomorrow. Maybe I'll be more articulate then.
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